Woman's inhumanity to Woman

Today being International Women’s day is a good day to say to my fellow Nigerian women, “Please be nice to one another” I say Nigerian because I experience Woman’s inhumanity to Woman almost daily here in Nigeria.

I will never understand why women are so nasty to each other in everything, when it comes to driving, women are so mean to themselves, it’s like there is a point to prove. “I can drive better than you”. A woman will never allow another woman to get in front of her in a traffic jam; on the other hand, the one trying to get in may even find it hard to ask nicely. From the attitude exhibited by a driver, I am able to say if it is a man or a woman.

I was at a function recently and the host took me herself to get some potato salad from the serving point, the caterer, after serving me, said to me very rudely, “Madam, please my plate oh” I couldn’t understand why she had to say that, was I going to eat the plate as well?

If you meet a fellow woman at a job interview, your heart starts to beat very fast, because you are not sure if she will be unbiased.

Women are the only creatures who wait for the other person to say hello first, “she was waiting for me to greet her, imagine that, of course, I ignored her, trust me” then the woman listener hails her, gives her a high five and says, “You go girl” When she sees the other woman, she says like she’s concerned, “Why did you ignore my friend the last time?” “Oh she couldn’t get over it, she was so hurt”. Then the gossip starts.

The chameleon has got nothing on the women when it comes to changing colours. This minute, they are encouraging you and telling you that you can do it, the next minute, she is talking about you to another person and saying how you think you are all that.

I vied for the position of Vice President of Law Students Association in my undergraduate days, I felt it was a done deal; I had girlfriends who would stick by me. Imagine my shock on the first day of my campaign and my girlriends who should lead thecampaign trail acted like they did not know who I was. It has been over fifteen years but I still remember.

Tell a woman your secret and the next day she starts acting funny because she has a weapon against you. I always tell women that there are secrets you take to your grave, if you must tell, please bring your dog, if you don’t have one, find a stray dog and tell your secret to that dog. You are safer and happier that way.

You see a nice dress on your colleague in the office, you pay compliment and ask where you can get the dress, and she hides the details from you, tells you she bought it the last time she went to Australia. Yea, right!

It takes only one spoken word to end a decade of friendship with a woman.

Jealousy among women has eaten deep into our souls. I had a friend who never paid compliment even when I paid her compliments. If I wore heels, she would say, “you can hardly work in those” if I wore sports shoes, she would say “are you training for the Olympics?”  I f I wore a nice dress, she would say “where did you steal this lovely dress from?” It used to be funny till I realised she never said anything nice to me and I had to tell her to stop.

Once, a beautiful friend of mine put up a lovely picture of herself on one of the social media platforms, I looked at the picture but did not make a comment. When she asked why I did not comment on her picture, I realised that there was absolutely no reason. That is what jealousy looks like.

Only a few women will help other woman become successful, when some do, it could be for self gratification, I understand the men when they ask for something in return – you have what they need, sadly, they are wired that way but what do you give your fellow woman in return?

Women bosses are almost always a nightmare, a bad one is always very bad, they talk down on their staff and sometimes intentionally or unintentionally put a strain on your marriage, if you are married.

Women keep screaming “Equal Rights” and I say equal rights with whom? The men? Some women themselves even feel superior to other women. First achieve equality for all women before you move to equality with men. Truth be told, Men and Women are not equal! One is superior, please don’t ask me which.

Some older women are rude to the younger women especially in places of worship, social functions and in the families. Old age is not a license to be impolite. Experience shows me that the old men are nicer than the old women.

I can go on and on discussing "Woman’s inhumanity to Woman" but I also want acknowledge that there are very good women out there. Women are extremists; when they are bad, they are very bad, and when they are good they are extremely good.

The good ones make extremely good wives, mothers, bosses and friends.  I have come to the realisation that the ugly women are usually the bad ones; they may be pretty, yet very ugly inside for beauty comes from the soul.

The beautiful ones are usually very sweet, nice and polite. On a recent holiday, I met a very beautiful woman, when she was introduced to me, I remember thinking to myself, “How can one person be this beautiful?” beautiful face, lovely skin, good height and very well endowed in the right places. When she opened her mouth, it was like an angel singing. The first thing she said to me was, “Oh! You are so beautiful” of course I felt really flattered and I did not believe her but I learnt something. If this tremendously beautiful woman could tell me I was beautiful, thereby making me very happy, then I had a duty to also make every woman I met very happy by saying something really nice to the person.

When you say a kind word to a woman, you could be helping her heal from hurt. So many women are going through challenges or a challenge,  sickness, childlessness, low income, domestic violence, sick husband, sick child/children, sick parent/parents, overweight, betrayal from friends or family, troublesome inlaws, bad bosses, lack of sex(konji), problem child/children,  loneliness, (yet to be married) loneliness (legal/illegal absentee husband), e.t.c.

Today I do not only celebrate women, I change from the woman I was to a woman worthy of celebration, I will say hello first, I will be particularly nicer to road users who are women, I will not talk down on a woman, I will pay compliments, I will hug a woman tightly and show love. I will not listen to any gossip. I will not respond when I am angry and I will help a woman in need.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!