Nothing but a number

photo credit: dreamstime


I was told that life in Peter Okoye Street was beautiful, my family shared a compound with some of the people who today are still their friends, from the pictures I saw, it was a set of three buildings and they had a nice quadrangle where the kids came out to play. My life began in Umunogo Street where father built his own house which made him a landlord as was in vogue then but I envied my siblings still because, from their stories, life was a lot better in Peter Okoye because of the strong friendships they formed till date.


Most of them went to the same primary school, Santa Maria which was located at the St. Mary’s Catholic Church Uwani Enugu and later on Ekulu Primary school. At that time, those schools were among the best elementary schools in Enugu. Vic always reminds me that sister Nkechi was his classmate at Santa Maria and uses that opportunity to ask me to accord him more respect by addressing him as ‘sir’ since my big sister was his mate and not me.


I never let him off the hook that easily so I am also quick to tell him that if I am old enough to meet his needs in the sacred room, then I am not only his mate but his senior. The secondary schools of choice in those days were, College of Immaculate Conception, Awkunanaw boys which eventually became Union boys, Uwani Secondary school, and Nike Boys Grammar School, they were other schools but these were quite popular. Uwani Secondary school was easily the most popular mixed school in those days. Then there were the almighty Queens School, then Akwunanaw Girls, City girls, and  Abakpa Nike Girls; these were all-girls schools and how could I miss Idaw River girls, where a very bad stampede occurred because someone had sighted “Queen of the Coast’ who came to take her daughter back to the water where they belonged. No one knows exactly what caused the stampede so the blame to date goes to mami-wota. lol!


Students of Queens school Enugu always felt like the special ones, the finest and the most toasted and I dare say they still feel the same way, Queen na ewu ewu! Federal School Enugu was on its own playing a league among other federal schools and they were there like they were not but became more popular in my own time.


I was able to understand and appreciate the way life was in those days because I had older siblings from that generation and so sometimes when Vic acts really old school, I know where he is coming from. He is from the “Never gonna give you up” group while I rocked to “Been around the world” and Bobby Brown’s “Prerogative”, somehow we find a balance, talk about the generational gap. While my peers did all they could to get noticed by the boys back in the days at school( seeking for notice), I was always amused because I knew that my future was definitely not among my class boys! I had a secret fetish and it was my attraction to older guys.


The schools of my time were University Primary School(UPS), Ekulu, WTC(W-tigbuo), Airforce Primary School, Zik Avenue, and then others. We, that attended UPSfelt special and somehow looked condescendingly at other schools but it was always a competition between us and Ekulu. University  Secondary School, and the Holy Rosary College, were the new kids on the block and the Federal College Enugu began to gain more prominence; the state schools began to fail while the Federal schools boomed, then all of a sudden, the private schools took over. Our state and federal governments failed us woefully and the parents who were adamant enough to keep their children in the state or federal schools relied on past glory.


During the march parades by schools which were held on special days like Children’s Day on May 27th and Independence Day on October 1st, it was a sight to behold as the different schools came in their glory dressed in ceremonial clothes flying their schools’ flags, and displaying what they had spent weeks practicing, competing for the first position. I wonder what happened to our country, life was so beautiful then. Another secret of mine was that while the girls gushed over boys on the parade ground, I gushed over the young soldiers who came for a ceremonial parade to kick start the event and I also loved the police band.


I knew from way back that there would be that generational gap between my future husband and me, there were fears that the gap would pose a problem, but that is yet happen. The only time, age comes up, it is merely for jokes. Recently I had a conversation with a friend about my sons and how I pray that they marry well and the age gap thing came up. He said that the gap between spouses should not be less than five years and not more than ten. I do not agree entirely, maybe because there is an eleven year gap in my marriage. 


There are many factors to consider before marriage and even though age is a part of it, it is way down the radar on a scale of importance! Like they say, "age ain't nothing but a number" What do you think?



9 Comments

  1. Age is just a number and doesn't define your marriage.

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  2. Great story. It is always good to get married to someone way older. It helps the young woman maintain that needed respect and care a husband deserves. This may not be the case if both are age mates. Quarrels, fights, disagreements, and eventual break up due to ideological differences.

    If you want your children to have a very sound marriage encourage them to go for a well cultured younger girl who is ready to learn.

    That said, classmates have married successfully, age mates have married successfully, too. Even arranged marriages are successful as well.

    Marriages are made in heaven

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    Replies
    1. I disagree with you on your last note.. No marriage is made in heaven.. There are no marriages in heaven or has any been recorded? You build your marriage and make it what you want it to be..

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  3. Wonderful Story, I quite agree with you that age is only a number in relation to marriage. Well done, Amy.

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  4. Beautiful story. Umunogo was fun no doubt. I dated older guys and loved lol

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  5. I love reading from you. You paint a picture with your stories.

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  6. Awesome Minute to minute Account.. Yes I kind of Agree that there should be at least 10 years gap between spouses.

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    1. Don't you think 18-20 years gap would be ideal as the required experience of the older spouse would've been beyond proof. Pun intended 😄 but in ✌️

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  7. The ingredients of a healthy and successful marriage are Wisdom, Understanding and Knowledge (Proverbs 24:3-4); age ain't part of it. Where these are lacking, let the marriage be restarted 😅 (Psalms 11:3).

    Statistics of broken marriages will reflect all age gaps/pairs. Age doesn't equal wisdom nor knowledge. Let each individual seek to get these ingredients of a happy marriage if they do desire one (Proverbs 4:7, Ecclesiastes 10:10[b]).

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