Doc Small Small

Photo credit: huffpost 

It was International Women's Day today and I received a lot of e-cards and memes from people it got me thinking about women and who we really are. To say that women are strong is an understatement, we are strength personified and when we make up and step out, we do not look anything like what we have been through.

I watched a woman give birth the natural way today on social media, she went through the pains of labor unmedicated and had her baby right at home in a rubber pool with the help of a midwife. Watching her reminded me of my first experience giving birth, the night before I delivered Nnaemeka, I got into an argument with Vic; he was upset that I was going to go to the salon instead of my prenatal appointment. I knew I was due at any time because my doctor had told me so at my last visit, and so I needed to get myself in order, make my hair so I could slay into the labor room.

He was so mad at me for not taking my hospital visit seriously and we both went to bed mad after I insisted that I would go do hair instead. I insisted because I knew that the next time set foot in the hospital, I would be having a baby ready or not, I was almost forty weeks gone.

That night I was woken from sleep by a sharp pain in my abdomen and there was nothing I did that could stop the pain, I sat in the toilet for most part of the night and all Vic said to me was, "see why you must go to the hospital in the morning". We both had no idea what was going and all I could think of was how to get my lost sleep back, little did I know that I had murdered sleep forever. 

The pain lasted from about 3 am till morning and it was when I was being driven to the hospital that it occurred to me that I could be in labor. We were stuck in traffic for a while and I remember that I was embarrassed to be in labor, there was a danfo bus next to our car while in traffic and most of the passengers were looking at me and I had to pretend that I was not in pain, I was terrified of the drama that could have ensued if the women in the bus knew that I was in labor, the thought of having my child under the bridge barricaded by different wrappers of different women made me sit up at the back of the car. I smiled at those looking at me reassuringly so they could leave me to go through my labor in peace.

As soon as I got to the hospital, I was told that it was time even though the membrane was yet to rupture, my doctor ruptured it and while I lay there, legs spread wide apart like a slaughtered chicken, thinking if the process that led to that horrendous moment was worth, I saw the Matron practically dragging Vic into the labor room like a child.

He saw me spread hopelessly on the bed and he covered his face either in shame on my behalf or in anguish bearing part of my pain. In my mind, I filed for a divorce and vowed that I would never let Vic touch me again and that was going to be my first and only child, I hated him and also at that moment,  could relate with women who scratched or attempted to bite their husbands' fingers off while in labor, I felt like doing the same to Vic.

He stayed by my head and was muttering uncoordinated prayers, he jumped from Our Father, to Hail Mary, and to The Lord is my Shepherd without finishing any of the prayers. Baby came after a few pushes at 4.25kg and I couldn't stop wondering how that came out of the small hole, The suturing afterward cleared my doubt, I was given an episiotomy to aid the delivery process. The cry of my baby was my reward and I kept saying Thank You, Jesus. I was twenty-four years old and clueless about being a mother but I had no choice but to step into my new role.

Vic asked what I wanted as a gift, I believe that gesture is called a push gift now, yours truly asked for a teddy bear, even mother laughed at me when I told her that I asked for a teddy bear. 

Before I left the hospital, I had a conversation with God, I asked Him not to mind what I said about my first child being my only child, I was so worried that God wouldn't give me another child and I talked to mother about it. She told me that most women felt the same way with their first childbirth and that God was aware of that feeling, He sure did not listen to me because He gave me more children.

After about two weeks, I was calling my doctor to ask if it was okay to nack, lol! My doctor said, "Amaka, have you healed?" and I said, "Doc, just small small now".

Women are indeed a special breed, please do not joke with us.

Happy International Women's Day to us!