Finding my voice

Photo credit: higginson 

Being the eighth child in the Eke's family, I was among the last and it was a major problem; I had to fight to be heard.

I had no right to speak and so my opinion never really mattered. The good part of being among the youngest was that I got almost everything I wanted without even asking.

If mother was not buying for me, my big sisters were doing the buying or handing over to me. I remember occasionally receiving boxes of clothes and other accessories from Miss B and my friends always shared in the largesse.

When my big sisters dot on me these days I wonder if they are the same sisters that dealt with me in my younger years.

They made me leave the room whenever they talked about guys or other things they felt I was too young to know about. They started to let me in on their discussions later on and when I think of it now, I wish they gave me more time.

We were quite close even though we fought a lot. We would learn of what someone did, gauge the problem and decide to either confess or keep it from Ferdinand and Beatrice because letting them know could be a suicide mission.

Once, while in Lokpanta on a holiday, one of the big Eke's friends Odera was with us. He became the big Odera since we had a baby brother who had the same name inspired by the big Odera' name. While throwing a ball up in the living room, he broke a bulb from the chandelier. It was an obvious disaster for Ferdinand would surely flip and everyone would be in trouble.

Every piece of furniture had a story behind it; either he saw it in a lights store in Europe or in a hotel in some part of the world and ordered it. 

Miss B was big sister Ebere's nickname given to her by the  friends who had become family.  She was in charge and took the final decisions; she decided that telling father was not an option and leaving it like that would be a bigger problem. Ferdinand would never miss such details.

Miss B got in the car with the big Odera and another adult and they took off to the nearest town Agwu, in search of a similar bulb. The bulb was red coloured but gave out bright light and not red light as expected. It was impossible to find exactly that bulb and definitely not in Agwu. They saw only the normal red bulbs and left with very few options, they purchased what they found.

The bulb was fixed and we prayed that nothing would bring Ferdinand into that living room for he would surely notice the huge difference between the inferior bulb and the original bulbs. 

He noticed alright, but way after the holidays at which time the issue was statute barred. We were prepared to use the law he often quoted on him. Lol!

So when I finally found a voice in the Eke's household it became another problem, I would be hushed and I would resist and I would be beaten.

Sometimes I feel I need to see a therapist for all those beatings I received from my sisters. I couldn't fight back physically so I learnt to fight with my mouth.

The big fights often happened in the nights for no reason at all. That particular night, I tried to fight for myself against an injustice done to me by the supposedly quiet sister, Ezioma.

As I faced her, the freedom fighter Nkiru joined and felt I was too rude to her older sister. I decided to face my two big sisters and then the Margaret Thatcher of the house Miss B came into the squabble and the fight escalated.

I was already in it and I made up my mind not to go down without a fight. I fought my three sisters with my mouth, hands and legs. My God I fought with everything in me, calling them witches and other ungodly names which aggravated the whole situation.

This particular fight was in our own flat and they closed the door so Beatrice wouldn't hear us but she heard thankfully and when she barged in on us, I was being dragged like a sheep to the slaughter house being the toilet. My sisters said they would lock me up in there to teach me a lesson. I may still sue them for the abuse. Hahaha!

"O gini, do you people want to kill her?" They chorused "yes". Mother held my hand and asked me to come with her, I refused and asked her to leave me for them to kill. I told them that they must kill me and it seemed like they wanted to.

I sobbed throughout that night and I can't remember what happened the next day but I was upset for a while. That sort of fight never happened afterwards but I received a few slaps and knocks from Miss B. 

Thinking about it now, the stress of raising all of us must have contributed to Beatrice's ill health that eventually led to her passing at seventy-four. 

Maybe if I was her only child she'd still be here. Lol! 

I miss you two great people, Ferdinand and Beatrice💔