Church girl

So this story here is not spooky, it's not sad, nobody beat anybody and nobody died. But, hmm, it involves man and woman..I'm a hopeless romantic and I love it when a man and a woman love each other. The thing that makes me happy the most is the fact that more people are confiding in me and telling me their stories. I used to wonder why people went to Oprah Winfrey's show to tell their stories. Now I see why they do, its to use their stories to pass a message across to people who may need it.

I was a beautiful young girl even if I say so myself, I was not just beautiful, I had presence maybe because of my high confidence level. Everyone turned to look at me anytime I got into a place. As I grew older, fashion came to me naturally. With beauty, confidence and fashion, I was a total package. Did I forget to mention that I was super smart and an A student? From an early age, I knew that I was blessed and for that deserved the best at all times. Thank God that my mother always sang it to my ears that life without Christ was empty. This kept me grounded and very humble. I was a true church girl. I delighted in working in church and pleasing God. Nothing distracted me from achieving my goals of serving God and becoming a medical doctor, a neurologist to be precise. It was only natural for every boy in my neighbourhood to want me. I paid them no mind and even when I was tempted to take it all in, I would hear my mum's voice saying to me "my daughter, don't mind all these boys, they are looking for one thing, to get in-between your legs" Instantly, I developed a hatred for the boy who almost made me lose it. (The words of a mother)

I carried on this way till I got admitted to study medicine into a prestigious Federal University. I was so happy and my parents were even happier than myself. They told anyone who cared to listen that I was admitted to study medicine on merit. They invited people to my matriculation! Matriculation! I was kind of embarrassed, they put up a small canopy and it was like a wedding, the only thing missing was a husband. I mean, I was their first child but c'mon it was bit too much. My father was busy scrutinising every young guy that came to say hello and felicitate with me. Of course, I had already made a few friends before Mat day. "Come that one looks like he's in secret cult, this one here is too quiet, he's a pretender..." So daddy which one looks like a good guy? None! Almost screaming! hahahaha, I had a good laugh. My mum was busy entertaining guests, she cooked all sorts. She could cook for the whole of Nigeria.

Before they left, she came to me and said, "You are now on your own fully, I won't be here all the time to check on you, my job as your teacher has ended, now yours starts, you teach yourself now relying on all that I taught you" Her words brought tears to my eyes and I promised her that I would be at my best always. (hmm, are you still thinking about it? better talk to your child today, it matters). Then, we prayed as a family.

Lectures kicked off and I made sure I never missed a class, I avoided certain places and only attended room parties in the female hostel. I got actively involved in church activities and that was where I met him (I'm smiling now), in church. He was always there in church but I never really noticed him until we both took part in a drama during a certain religious programme. We got married in the drama and it was when we hugged on stage on the D-day that something happened to my body. Something I could never have imagined. Mum told me all the bad ones but not the good ones; the feeling wasn’t bad at all. In fact I wanted to experience more and more of it. Guys have a way of knowing when a girl is interested and they never let that opportunity pass. Afterwards, he started to come to my block and he would walk me back to the hostel. We became an item and contrary to what mum said, he was not interested in getting in-between my legs. I was in a happy place, we were so close and we shared every secret, he knew everything about me and I knew everything about him.

We carried on this way till our second year, and on one fateful day, on his birthday to be precise; he pleaded and pleaded with me that the only way to show him that I loved him was to give in to him. He even cried (thief, I should have known better). To cut a long story short, I did it, He was as gentle as ever and he said to me that he wasn’t always that gentle; he was just that way because it was my first time. "So this is not your first time?" I screamed. He started stammering. Not like he told me that he was a virgin but he acted like he was one. Well, the deed had been done and I might as well live with it. Thereafter, sex became like food to us, we prayed less and gradually stopped going to church, church members expressed their concern, but I had totally lost it and couldn’t be bothered. Luckily my grades were not affected.

I went home for the holiday, and on one particular day, my mother looked at me and said "so you shamed me afterall" I couldn't lie to her. "How many times have you done it?" She was screaming now and I was begging her to bring down her voice so my father wouldn't hear. And the truth was that I couldn't even remember how many times. Later that night, I went to her room when she was all alone, I knew she was thinking about me, I apologised to her and she told me that all she could do was to continue to pray for me. She promised never to give up on me. A lot of things happened with my boyfriend and I that I knew I had escaped because my mother was praying for me. From running into armed robbers, okada accident to narrowly escaping cult attack etc(parents, pray for your children) The change in my boyfriend's behaviour is story for another day, he cheated on me severally, lied to me and stood me up plenty times but I was stuck with him. After all, I had given him what I could never get back from him.

We were together till he graduated,  he did a four year course and was a year ahead of me, we continued with the relationship. He was serving at the bank and he had a small apartment in the state where he was posted to. One day, I was missing him and just decided to pay him a visit unannounced, no, I was not being mischievious, I was just missing him. I got there and the love of my life wouldn't let me in. I didn't understand at first, and then it dawned on me that there was someone in his room. OMG! As we were arguing, the girl came out and almost fought me. I just started crying. That was when his neighbour came out to see what was wrong. He asked who I was and I told him, he took pity on me. I was a mess, how did I even get here?  He scolded my boyfriend and said to him, “but you always told me about your girlfriend, why are you treating her this way now?”

He asked that question because my silly boyfriend stood there like a goat while the girl insulted the living daylight out of me. It was later I got to know that she was his money bag, how did he even become like that? He never asked me for money; I just gave him if I wanted to, voluntarily, the same way he gave me if I was broke. The girl made him tell me that it was over between us. I couldn't go back to school because it was late. His neighbour offered me his bed in his own apartment. He slept in the sitting room. I cried all through the night.

In the morning, my boyfriend’s neighbour made me breakfast, he took me to the park. We exchanged landlines and addresses. We kept in touch. He was a much older guy than my boyfriend.

Today that my boyfriend’s neighbour is my husband and we are blessed with three adorable children. I can't imagine spending my life with someone else. We never dated, he just came to visit me when I was doing my house job and popped the question. I knew that God loved me and I was blessed enough to get the best. My boyfriend was just used by the devil to distort the course of my life but I had a praying mother. I have a successful career as a neurologist while my husband’s business is booming.

I am married to an amazing guy. He loves me unconditionally and he tells me so at every given opportunity. He said my boyfriend always told him how good and faithful I was to him (so the cow even knew). He silently prayed to God to give him someone like me. He said that the break-up was perfect for him, he knew I deserved better. While I cried in his bedroom that fateful night, he rejoiced in his sitting room for he knew that he had found his wife. My family loves him. Everyone loves him, and he is a true Christian. My ex still tries to reconnect with me, I feel like he's just stalking me, he has tracked me on most social media platforms and sent me messages that we should just be friends and how my darling husband snatched me from him,(delusion). Of course, I block him once he pops up. He’s contacted some of our old friends to ask them to beg me, that we should still be friends. I am not angry with him at all; in fact I am grateful to him for that day. But I don't want to be friends na. Ah ah! Na by force?!

I had a bad experience but God gave me a second chance!